Having Kids And Still Keeping Your Sex Life Intact

Many people have experienced first-handedly the experience of becoming parents. This is one of the most powerful experiences that you can live through in life. However, you will have to sacrifice many things if you are to raise your children. And in many cases, many people report that their sex life has taken a (not literal) beating. But why should this be the case? And is there something you could do about it?

Well, the case is pretty straight-forward when it comes to reasons why couples that have kids have fewer sex encounters. They simply don’t have enough time for it. In most cases, they need to go to work too and they need to take care of their children when they get back home. Moreover, their energy levels will be sapped – especially if they are dealing with a baby. Babies tend to have erratic sleep patterns and they also tend to wake up during the night, crying for attention. Their parents need to keep going to work and taking care of everything else – but now they can’t even sleep properly. And it comes as no surprise that their sex drives tend to plummet.

Many couples report that they have a lot less sexual encounters from the moment they had a child. That being said – we’re not saying that your sex life needs to completely stop if you have a child – far from it. Most couples still get to have sex occasionally, even though they may be hard pressed for time and energy to do this.

The truth of the matter can be summarized in the following maxim: when there is a will, there is a way. Sadly, many people use the excuse of having children to not have sex because they don’t want to have sex in the first place. But if your sex drive is high prior to having a child, then there’s no big reason for it to plummet after having a child. So, it’s all up to you and your partner, in the end. You can have all the sex you want, despite the fact that you now have kids.

However, in some cases, privacy can be a real problem. By “privacy” we mean “the lack thereof”. Kids are very nosy and curious about everything. Just when you think that you and your partner are all alone and that your kid is sleeping – he or she may come into your room because of a bad dream he had. Try explaining what you’re doing to your kid, then – it’s never an easy task. So, you may have to work a bit harder in order to create a sense of privacy for you and your partner.

That being said, the core of the matter is that you don’t have to give up your vibrant and healthy sex life just because you have children. Having no time for anything because of tending to your kids can even make things exciting when you do finally get to have sex. So, you can even boost your sex life when having kids, in the end.

4 Best Sex Positions

There are lots of sex positions that have been found to give you the desired pleasure during sexual intercourse. However, there aren’t a lot of sex positions that are suitable for both you and your partner can enjoy. The bodies of men and women can come together in a thousand ways for the purpose of mutual pleasure. In the event that you engage in a heterosexual relationship, having knowledge of different sex positions can help you become a better and more inventive lover for your partner. Below are the top sex positions:

  1. The missionary attitude position

The missionary position is a simple sex position. In this type of sex position, the woman lies on her back with her legs opened wide and her knees slightly bent. The man stays at the top and lies between the legs of the woman and leads his cock into her vagina. The weight of the man is supported by his arms or elbows.

The only shortcoming of this type of sex position is that it is not so effective in providing women with satisfaction. The pelvis of the man does stimulate the clitoris in this position and it provides great intimacy through facial contact between the two partners. However, the penis angle does not allow deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot. A lot of women complain that this sex position does not provide sufficient clitoris stimulation to achieve orgasm.

  1. Woman on top

This is the best sex position for women who want to be in control and guide the stimulation, says Dr. Leiblum. The angle of the penis allows deep penetration and stimulation of the G-spot, and the male partner can be in control of the woman’s pleasure by making use of his fingers to rub her clitoris. In addition, men are very susceptible to visual stimuli, and this sex position allows a man to rest on his back lying down and look at his partner doing an amazing job.

In this sex position, a man is lying on his back, and the woman faces him and kneels, driving the pelvis and directing his cock into her vagina. The woman can sit up or lie down on him. The woman can also move in an up-and-down motion or roll her hips around.

  1. Rear entry

This is also known as the doggy style, it is referred to as the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. This sex position gives the man the freedom to thrust his pelvis hard and fast and allows him to caress much of a woman’s body. The doggy style also allows for good G-spot stimulation.

In this sex position, the woman kneels on all fours and makes use of hands and knees to support her. The man squats behind her and enters her vagina from behind. Some women complain that this sex position is too impersonal as there is no facial contact.

  1. Side by Side

In this type of sex position, slow and romantic sex is guaranteed. The partners face each other and can kiss and caress each other during sex. This sex position is relaxing as it does not require a lot of sexual stamina from the two partners. This is the best position if one of the individuals is overweight or obese. There is a good clitoral stimulation in this position, but penetration is limited.

During this sex position, both the man and the woman lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman raises the top of her legs so that a man can insert his penis. She can then wrap the leg around the waist of the man or lay it across his top leg.

Read More: Best Sex Positions With Clothes On

Discuss Sex With Your Friends

Sex, in most people’s view, is an intimate activity that shouldn’t really see the light of day when it comes to getting it public. However, there are still many benefits that you will experience by sharing your sexual experiences with your friends. That being said, this article will tell you about some of them.

The first benefit is that talking about sex is actually fun. There are many things that you can talk about – positions, current partner, ex-partners, favorite places to do it in – there are no limits to what you can talk about. And almost everybody will be able to share something fun that has happened to them while they had sex at some point. So, if you wish to have some fun, then you will do well to share something about your sexual experiences with your friends.

Your friends can also give you some useful pointers about the direction you’re headed. Think of it like this – you don’t know what you don’t know. Perhaps there are 1001 ways in which you can improve your sexual life and make it even more pleasurable than you ever thought possible. Well, some of your friends will likely have had some experiences that rocked their brains. Perhaps you can imitate them, in a way, and get your brain rocked, too!

Sadly, sex is not always a great experience for many people. The fact of the matter is that many people have difficulties with the high level of intimacy that sex requires for it to be successful. If you believe that you’re a hard-case – then we suggest that you go and talk to a professional psychiatrist. However, if you have smaller issues that you think can be resolved – then one of the best things to do is to talk to your friends about them. They will be able to give you some guidance as to what exactly you should do in order to solve your sexual problems.

But are there any bad things that can happen to you if you happen to talk to some of your friends about your sexual experiences? Well, if they are true friends – then the possibility for something to go wrong is practically non-existent. However, if they are not truly your friends, then they may share your sexual experiences with other people and even in public. And this is something that most people aren’t really prepared to share with the world. So, always try to be mindful about the people you’re talking with. Not everyone deserves to know more about your sexual experiences.

But overall, you will have a net beneficial effect of talking to your friends about sex. Regardless if you learn something new or if you just have some fun while doing it – we think that you should let yourself loose every once in a while. Don’t hold everything in – sometimes you need to show some vulnerability and be honest about what you do. And you are likely to benefit from this vulnerability of yours in big ways.

Sex Addiction

Sexual addiction can be best described as a progressive intimacy disorder which is characterized by forced sexual thoughts and acts. Just like all addictions, its negative impact on addicts and family members is growing as the disorder progresses. Over time, an addict usually needs to intensify the behavior of addiction in order to accomplish the same results.

For some people who are addicted to sex, behavior does not go further than compulsive masturbation or the extensive use of pornography or sexual services by phone or computer. For others, addiction may include illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, sexual abuse, or rape.

Sex addicts do not necessarily turn to sex offenders. Moreover, not all sexual offenders are addicted. Approximately 55% of convicted sex offenders can be considered sex addicts.

About 71% of child abusers are sex addicts. For many of their problems so serious that imprisonment is the only way to ensure the safety of society against them.


The causes of sexual addiction are still unknown. Addiction originates in the reward center of the brain. This can happen when some parts of the brain confuse reactionary reactions to survival mechanisms.

The midbrain is part of the brain that manages the body reward system and survival instincts. As sexual activity creates a rush of dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical in the brain, this causes a sense of satisfaction. The midbrain then confuses this sense of pleasure as vital to survival.

One possibility is that a person with a sexual addiction, the frontal cortex or the brains center of logic and morality will change the midbrain.


However, persons with sexual dependency may depend on different types of sexual behavior. This makes it difficult to define. It also suggests that the disorder originates not from the action of the individual, but from the obsession with their realization.

Sexual addiction seems to include the adoption of rules that will feel in state control and then breaking them to create new rules.

Activities associated with sexual addiction may include:

  • compulsive masturbation
  • multiple affairs, sexual partners, and one-night stands
  • persistent use of pornography
  • practicing unsafe sex
  • cybersex
  • visiting prostitutes or practicing prostitution
  • exhibitionism
  • voyeurism

Treatment of sex addiction

Addiction can be difficult to treat because a person with addiction simplifies and often justifies their behavior and thought patterns. People with sexual addiction may deny the existence of problems.

The following treatment options are available:

Self-help organizations, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous, and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, offer 12-step programs to help the individual in self-managing the condition.

There are residential treatments programs which are available to people with various addiction disorders. These are in-patient programs where a person lives in the facility and receives specialist therapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) provides various techniques that help individuals change their behavior. CBT can equip a person to avoid relapse and reprogram harmful sexual behavior.

Prescription drugs, such as Prozac, may be prescribed to reduce sexual drive but the drug has not been approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treating this condition.

Sexual activity is different. Like eating, it is necessary for the survival of man. Although some individuals are celibate – others are not by choice, while others choose celibacy for cultural or religious reasons – healthy people have a strong sexual desire. In fact, lack of interest or low interest in sex may indicate a medical problem or psychiatric illness.

Read More: Dealing With Addiction To Porn

Sexual Problems In Men

Sexual problem also known as sexual dysfunction means a problem at any stage of the sexual response cycle which thwarts a man or couple from feeling pleasure from their sexual activity. Sexual response cycle has four phases which are: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Below are the major types of male sexual dysfunction:

  • Erectile dysfunction (finding it difficult to getting/keeping an erection)
  • Premature ejaculation (reaching orgasm too quickly)
  • Delayed or inhibited ejaculation
  • Low libido (a reduction in sexual interest)

What are the causes of sexual dysfunction in men?

The physical causes of total sexual dysfunction can be:

  • Low levels of testosterone
  • Over the counter drugs (antidepressants, high blood pressure medications)
  • Blood Vascular disorders such as atherosclerosis (arterial hardening) and high blood pressure
  • Damage to the nerve or stroke as a result of diabetes or surgery
  • Smoking
  • Alcoholism and drug addiction

Psychological causes of sexual dysfunction can include:

  • Thinking about sexual performance
  • Relationship problems or marital issues
  • Depression, feelings of guilt
  • Effects of past sexual trauma
  • Stress and anxiety at work

How do sexual problems affect men?

Ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunction, and inhibition of sexual desire are the major and most common sexual problems in men.

What are Ejaculation Disorders?

There are various types of ejaculation disorders in men, including:

  • Premature ejaculation: This refers to ejaculation occurring before or immediately after penetration.
  • Inhibited or retarded ejaculation: This is when ejaculation is slowed down.
  • Retrograde ejaculation occurs when at orgasm, the ejaculates are forced back into the bladder, not through the urethra and out the end of the penis.

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

This is also referred to as impotence, erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to achieve and/or maintain an erection suitable for sexual intercourse. The causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases affecting blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (arterial hardening); nervous disorders; psychological factors such as stress, depression and performance anxiety (nervousness over his ability to perform sexually); and penile injuries. Chronic illness, some medications and the condition called Peyronie’s disease (scar tissue in the penis) can also cause erectile dysfunction.

What Is Inhibited Sexual Desire?

Inhibited desire also known as loss of libido concerns the reduction of desire or interest in sexual activity. Reduced libido can occur as a result of physical or psychological factors. It is associated with low levels of testosterone hormone. It can also be caused by psychological problems such as anxiety and depression; medical illnesses such as diabetes and high blood pressure; certain drugs, including some antidepressants; and relationship difficulties.

How Are Male Sexual Problems Diagnosed?

In order to diagnose sexual problem in men, the doctor will probably begin with a complete history of symptoms and physical examination. He or she may order further examinations to exclude all medical problems that may contribute to the malfunction. Your doctor may refer you to other healthcare professionals, including urologists (a specialist in the urinary tract and a male reproductive system), sexologists and other counselors.

How sexual problem in men are treated?

Majority of the cases of sexual problem can be corrected by treating basic physical or psychological problems. Treatment strategies may include the following:

Medical Treatment: this is the treatment of any physical problem that may contribute to sexual problems in men.

Drugs: some medications such as Cialis, Levitra, Staxyn, Stendra or Viagra can help improve erectile function in men by increasing the rate at which blood flow to the penis. Promescent is a drug which has been found to be used in the treatment of premature ejaculation. The topical spray is applied to the penis and contains lidocaine, which reduces sensitivity and provides better control of ejaculation.

Hormones: Men with low levels of testosterone may benefit from testosterone replacement therapy.

Psychological Therapy: Therapy with a trained counselor can help an individual with a sense of anxiety, fear or guilt that can affect their sexual function.

Mechanical aids: Mechanical aids such as vacuum devices and penile implants have been found to be helpful in men with erectile dysfunction.

Education and communication: Educating an individual about sex and sexual behaviors and responses may help a man overcome his anxieties about sexual performance. Having an open discussion with your partner about your wants and concerns also helps to overcome many obstacles to a healthy sex life.

Read More:

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